Copies ...
 

Always thought the Australian anthem a copy of the USA anthem.
New Zealand anthem a copy of God save the Queen.
The Dam Busters theme a copy of "land of hope and glory"!

Ken, if nothing else, this thread is helping 2nd fiddle improve his internet search skills.
As the violinist said to the bassist,
"I rest my case. You might as well put your bag down now."

ps. Is the line 'home of the brave' referring to a teepee or wigwam? Well, in old cowboy films Indians were divided into chiefs and braves... and, of course, there was always John Wayne.

Indians?
 

One day, up near Canada, the Lone Ranger and his trusted Indian guide Tonto were riding thru the woods.

All of a sudden, they see a group of hostile Indians in 'war paint' in front of them on Horseback. :eek:

The Lone Ranger looks around. Indians to the left of them, Indians to the right of them and Indians behind them. :eek::eek::eek:

The Lone Ranger on top his white Horse 'Silver' turns to Tonto in a panic and says in a fearful tone; "Tonto, we're surrounded by Indians.. What do we do? What do we do?:confused::confused:

Tonto looks at him and says in a proud Deep sounding broken English voice; "What you mean We, Paleface?":p

Things are so quiet over here, I find myself reading this thread with great interest.....:confused:

'Oh, say can you see by the dawn's early light
What so proudly we hailed at the twilight's last gleaming?'
If you're bored Paul, think about these words.
I'm in NZ and even I feel inspired by them!
How does Canada's song go?
I bet it isn't as good!

O Canada
 

O Canada! Our home and native land!
True patriot love in all thy sons command.
With glowing hearts we see thee rise,
The True North strong and free!
From far and wide, O Canada,
We stand on guard for thee.
God keep our land glorious and free!
O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.
O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.

...I wonder if it sounds better with a Canadian accent?

Ken, I got your PM.
Yes, I did read your joke.
Verdict = fantastic.
9 gold stars!

New joke:
 

The Lone Ranger and Tonto and Ken are riding along and suddenly they are surrounded by Indians.
The Lone Ranger looks around. Indians to the left of them, Indians to the right of them and Indians behind them.
The Lone Ranger on top his white horse 'Silver' turns to Tonto in a panic and says in a fearful tone,
"Tonto, we're surrounded by Indians... What do we do? What do we do?
Ken butts in and says,
"Don't worry guys (at this point, while Ken is talking, both the Lone Ranger and Tonto feel the presence of two green smiling faces somewhere in the atmosphere above them) these guys are from Bombay, with a bit of luck we'll get Sitar Boogie!"
All three let out a very relaxing 'Lol'.

Commin 'round..
 

All of a sudden we hear Richard commin 'round the corner to our rescue and as he came, he almost rode of the cliff!:eek::eek:

"Yo, Rich" I yelled out, "didn't you see the Arrows warning the Sharp curve commin up"?

Rich replies, "Arrows? I didn't even see the Indians?:confused:


Bada Boom.... Crashhhhhhhh :D:D:D:D:D:D:D

lol:D:D:D
hey ken, that´s really funny.
i hope paul isn´t bored anymore

Those damn drums...
 

Those damn drums carry on from Ken's joke and the Indians start doing a Souix war dance.
Richard asks the Lone Ranger what the drums mean and he says to ask Tonto.
He asks Tonto, but Tonto's too scared to tell him and says,
"Ask Ken, he knows the ways of the Souix."
So Richard asks Ken and Ken says,
"I'm not totally sure, but just pray that those drums don't stop."
Richard asks Ken,
"Why? What terrible thing will happen when the drums stop?"
Ken solemly replies,
"There'll be a bass solo."

Bada Boom.... Crashhhhhhhh :D:D:D:D:D:D:D (again)

Pale face?
 

Anyway, talking about pale faces, last week at school I asked a 14 year old student to leave the room because she was being disruptive.
She threw her book across the room and, just before she disappeared from sight, yelled at me,
"FU (words abbreviated) white boy!"
Gosh, I'm 54 and she's 14 and she sees me as a boy. Not bad! Maybe I could become one of those 'chick magnets' like Ken! (See the introduction thread "Greetings from Greece")

You could get this T-shirt Richard, then it will be official.

http://www.ellabeebaby.com/catalog/chick-magnet-sm.gif

Steve, you are a true friend. Perhaps I'm a little old to keep all the positive forces facing in the same direction these days though!

Your being modest big bro... just look at Ken .. humourous and witty still!

Our rugby team (The All Blacks) played Canada in Hamilton (NZ city) tonight. While the All Blacks won comfortably, the Canadians did themselves proud. This is our national game whereas, for the Canadians, it is a long way down their list of chosen games! Canada, tonight I take my hat off to you! You are a mighty nation worthy of much respect!

Really?
 

The All Blacks played a pretty indifferent game and thrashed a country with many millions more people and resources! :D

Rob, get your braiins out of the cupboard marked 'In Case Of Thinking' and put them back in! Very few people give a toss about rugby in Canada!

Gosh by Jove big Bro is right!
 

I think we need to start helping Canada with rugby. In the test last weekend, the All Blacks beat them 61-10. Now bear in mind that the All Blacks are a professional side and the Canadians are not... doesn't sound that flash anymore. Remember that a converted try is worth 7 points in rugby. It's not really that hard to score 61 points! Especially when playing a side with much less experience. No one down under is excited about the score and for good reason. Now the ABs have to take on South Africa... let's see what happens this time!

Go Black
 

26 to 21 :D
Is New Zealand the best or what?

Yes, we are.

No, it's called 'rich people with boats'!
WGAF!

We lost!!!
 

After the New Zealand people spending $30 million we lost to another New Zealand captain!

I didn't want to put my hand in my pocket for the rich boys. Children's cancer would have been a better cause.
Bring back Dennis Connor! At least he told the NZ designer where to go!

Things are quiet in Canada since Invercargill became so popular.

What's the northern most city in Canada? I wonder if they have wide streets?

Up here (Canada)
It's cold and I don't feel like playing my bass because my fingers don't want to move properly. I'll buy some fingerless gloves tomorrow.
I saw a polar bear today just outside Totonto. Toronto is a nice city, but very cold. There are a lot of Eskimos living in Toronto. Back in New Zealand we used to have a chocolate covered ice cream called an Eskimo Pie. They were simple but nice. I thank the Eskimo people for bringing me this little pleasure. I find it hard to imagine Eskimos eating much ice cream. I don't know why really. Maybe they do. I think they probably eat more fish. It must be hard cooking fish in the snow. I think that this is why a lot of Eskimos are now moving to Toronto. Even though I find Toronto cold, it probably seems warmer to them. I'm getting to really like the Eskimo people. I might speak to one soon. I assume that they speak Eskimo. I'll go to a bookshop and find a book that teaches you Eskimo.
Eskimo for beginners.
I know this much:

"Ooga" means "Good day"
and
"Eega" means "Good night".
They probably have a lot of names for fish. I don't mean for the different species. I mean for fish in general. They probably have quite a few ways of saying,
"Jesus, it's cold!"
Ah, yes, Eskimos are interesting people. I wonder if they have their own folk songs? Do they have their own instruments? They'd be instruments that are easy to play when your hands are cold.

Warm Places:
 

Jamaica
Various deserts around the world
Kartoum
The Transvaal
Egypt
Afghanistan (not the biscuits)
Brazil
The South Pole (on a really freekish day when the sun is shining on the snow)
Unknown and yet undiscovered places in space


not Canada

warm places...
 

The Kitchen!

Sorry to contradict you Ken, but they have very cold kitchens in Canada.

Why don't Canada and the USA amalgamate?
 

I've been thinking about this for quite a while now. In reality the border between these two countries is just a line drawn on a map. There would be lots of advantages if this merger were to take place. Here are some:

• Former USA citizens could get cheaper snow ploughs because former Canada made heaps of these.
• Former USA citizens could visit places like Toronto and Waterloo without needing to cross a border.
• Former Canadian citizens could establish line dancing clubs.
• The new flag could be like the old Canadian one, which is easier for children to draw, except the leaf bit would have to be simplified.
• Former Canadian citizens would now live in a country with better basketball teams and wouldn't need to watch that silly ice hockey game.
• The new combined country could have a new fancier name like 'Sparkle' or 'Razzle Dazzle' or 'Yes!".
• The capital of the new country could be Waterloo, where it is cooler and politicians wouldn't get so worked up because it would be too cold.
• There would be a bigger coastline for the coastguard to patrol, resulting in more jobs.
• In former USA the North would become part of the South, so old Civil War divisions could finally be put to rest.
• Illegal immigrants from Mexico would have far longer to walk to get to the north of the new country; they would see this as being too far and would be more inclined to stay at home.
• There would be more states to compete with each other on the sporting field.
• Now that cowboy and indian films are not as popular as they used to be, there would be a new genre available: Cowboys and Eskimos.

Silly decisons 1
 

I must admit that I'm back in New Zealand but;
I was about to take a shower and (would you believe it?) there was a spider on the shower nozzle standing right in front of where the water comes out when the shower is turned on!
In my opinion (IMO - Ken's Corner speak) this spider, on this particular day, made a very bad decision that would have a severe impact on the rest of his life.
Are spiders in Canada this silly? I suppose they would wear protective clothing to keep out the cold, so they would appear bigger.
What happens to a spider after it disappears down the plug hole? Maybe there are 'special forces' spiders down there who rescue them. I hope so.
Good luck, silly spider.

Thoughts about Canada:
 

Seems just as valid as ever...

http://fredferg.blogs.com/travelog/i...unty_pride.jpg

Real mounties?
Yes, and the pope secretly wears women's undies!

Speed bonnie boat, like a bird on the wing,
Over the seas to Canada.
Carry the lad who's born to be king,
Over the seas to Canada.

Poll:
How many Canadians are members of Ken's Corner?

What? None?

I think Stan Haskins might be Canadian.
Does anybody know for sure?