Untrue Facts About The Double Bass.
1) Most double basses are green.
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2) Yes, it's a cello
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Another educational thread by Sir Richard of 'Under..
If you have one, you know how to play it.:eek:
Double Basses are NEVER discussed in the Bull Pit because it is against the written rule.:p |
Ken, you should have put 3) & 4) by your comments.
5) Shiny varnish allows you to play faster. |
6. Double bassists enjoy having their instruments called 'doghouse basses'.
7. Double basses make excellent coffee tables. |
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I did a gig once and someone rested a can of beer on my bass. One could argue that, for a period, my bass was used as a table. I know it wasn't supporting coffee, but beer can be placed on a coffee table. Can you please think carefully about whether No. 7 should stay? Remember that we're talking untrue facts here. Thanks. |
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8) Originally developed by sephardic shepherds to call the sheep home at sunset
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We still need clarification from Dave Martin regarding point no 7. If the 'coffee table' thing doesn't work out for him, would you be prepared to have your post retitled as no 7? |
I think 7 is valid: while workable, a double bass makes for a lousy coffee table. Definitely not "excellent".
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bass as a coffee table
well,this was offered via ebay here last year:
http://www.geba-online.de/auto_image...pg&x=333&y=400 |
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Okay, okay, I don't want to come across as a softy, but I've decided to let no 7 stand. Anselm's 'glass' box is good, but you'd never get your legs under it - not that you can get your legs under most coffee tables. Well, I suppose you can if you're sitting on the floor. Let's move on.
9) Young double basses hang around in groups at shopping malls. |
Grits and more grits. True or not for your DB? :D
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10) Double basses have two sound posts - hence the name Double 'Soundpost' Bass. |
11. Chicks dig guys who play the double bass.
or 11. A double bass is an excellent birth control device. Take your pick, Richard, based on your own experience. :) |
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Dave, that's not a simple one to answer/decide between. I guess that I have to be honest and admit that I've not been blessed with incredibly good looks and have never been considered a chick magnet. When I play, women seem to enjoy the way I 'cuddle up' to the bass and that seems to make them feel positively about me. Therefore, I think I'll go with... 11) Chicks dig guys who play the double bass. Oh, hang on, that means it's not true! Okay, 11) A double bass is an excellent birth control device. |
12) A double bass has the same strings as a trumpet.
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re: #11a, lots of chicks think bassplayers are hot...
maybe not as many as some other instruments perhaps, but plenty I've dated at least a couple girls who had bassplayer boyfriends in their past, then dated me, then dated (or married) other bassplayers after me... plus lots of women talk about what a sexy instrument it is... #11b is a true untrue fact I suppose--unless perhaps it was a tiny tiny bass covered with spermicide.... |
#13--yeah, you're right, I wish I played the flute instead
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183) Doublebasses are leading a rebellion against the opressive brass/woodwind coallition. In fact, they have kidnapped their Saxophone Leader and refuse to negotiate.
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The saxophone, among instruments, really is a misfit and not a leader. It is made out of brass (or something similar) and is blown somewhat like a clarinet. It is generally classified as a woodwind instrument, but other woodwind instruments don't like it. Really the validity, or otherwise, of your statement can only be considered after someone posts no 182. 13) If the double bass were a country, it would be Iceland. |
14) the double-bass is easily transported in a shirt pocket or toiletry bag...
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15) Harmonics don't work well on the double bass because it is too big and the harmonics are too deep to hear. |
16) Doublebasses can be used as bathingsuits.
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17) A double bass looks like a telephone. |
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18) You can use a double bass for a condom. :D |
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One problam though, Oren is from the south and they won that war you guys had with the north, so he can pull rank. Unless, of course, Nashville is in the south too - can you please verify; Nashville, north or south? |
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I say all of this laughingly - though I live in Tennessee, I'm from Texas. And Texans outrank everyone. :) |
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19) Double bass players support Texas leaving the union.
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Cousin Dave, I'm surprised at your defeatist attitude. I thought all Martins and their descendants wanted to succeed. Maybe after the rain stops, you'll feel better and see the potential for so many successful things. If Richard or I can help, we're here for ya. ;) 20) The double bass is shorter than the electric bass. :) |
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