Need a good 'comeback' for..."How do you get that thing..."

[Ken Smith]

Originally Posted by wayne holmes

I just laugh-I think that it's funny every time I am asked that question---a question I find more interesting is "how much does it weigh?"

"how much does it weigh?"

A lot less than you lady!

[Dave Whitla]

I used to get the big guitar comment all the time. One time there were three of us walking with our basses to a gig when we passed a guitarist going the other way. One of the guys said, "Hey, that's a pretty small double bass you've got there!" Sadly, the guitarist didn't get it, but we were falling over laughing.

I still have no good reply for Dave though, other than something like, "What do you mean?? ... Huh? ... I don't get it..." Or how about, "Wow, that's a really interesting and funny comment and you're the first person in the whole world to ever say that to me!"

[Jack McFadden]

Dave:
I was schlepping the Baker into the Orillia Opera House one sunny day. Gordie Tapp, who was on the show, was sunning himself, complete with a reflector on his chin, 80 years old. He said, "Sonny, I hope when you get where you are going, that they ask you to play"! I said that I had heard that line before, he attributed it to Joe Niosi, who was responsible for bringing my bass and Ed Tate's old Kennedy from England to Canada.
I believe Joe was boarding a bus at the time, and some ancient woman said this to him.
By the way, I'm a grouch, and I usually ignore people who say stupid things. Original lines, yes, I'll stop and talk.

cheers,

Jack

[Steve Alcott]

A smallish female bassist friend of mine, upon hearing the query, "Why would a little thing like you want to play a big thing like that?" Her reply, "Because it feels so good between my legs".

[Ernie Mee]

Hey Dave, Your dad would be so proud to hear these words!!

I always just reply, "This isn't an instrument. This is my date!" She has a better shape than most but too many strings attached!

[Scott Pope]

Most of the time I just smile at these kinds of comments and go on down the road instead of trying to one-up them, applying the old adage: never argue with an idiot. He will just bring you down to his level and beat you with experience.

[Ken Smith]

Originally Posted by Scott Pope

Most of the time I just smile at these kinds of comments and go on down the road instead of trying to one-up them, applying the old adage: never argue with an idiot. He will just bring you down to his level and beat you with experience.

+ one Gazillion..

[Richard Prowse]

Originally Posted by Scott Pope

Most of the time I just smile at these kinds of comments and go on down the road instead of trying to one-up them, applying the old adage: never argue with an idiot. He will just bring you down to his level and beat you with experience.

But isn't it a bit like when a helicopter flies overhead and we all look up?
You can't call people idiots for being curious. I played a gig last week, in a part of the woods that competent double bassists seldom visit, and the MC (as he told the audience afterwards) was amazed to see the violinist using pizzicato and me bowing. A lot of people don't spend much time thinking about the double bass. It must be amazing for them to see one being played for the first time.
I teach at a low decile school (school in a poor area) and I always make a point of showing a double bass to my classes. When I first bring one out you can hear the gasps.
Really you should take these little jokes ,that people utter, as a compliment.
As they say, "Any publicity is better than no publicity."