Up There (Near Canada).

[Mike Smith]

There's a set period for which you can make revisions to your post or later delete. If you're having problems removing a post, that period is up. If you still want it edited or removed, contact me and I would be able to fix that.

[Richard Prowse]

Imagine white.
I'm talking like a blank screen.
White and nothing else.
White.
In the far north this is all you see.
White.
The Gendarmerie Royal du Canada patrol this domain.
Guys in 'lemon squeezer' hats and red tunics.
In the snow you can see one a thousand miles away.
'Mounties' we know them as.
What a noble pose they make from a distance.
Canada's clothing designers obviously embrace the dramatic.
After all, if you wanted to sneak up on a desperado in the snow, wouldn't you choose to dress in white?
This is why, if you want to live a life outside of the law, Canada is a good place to reside.
I bet that traffic wardens, in their cities, probably text parked motorists to let them know that they're coming!

[Richard Prowse]

Canada is a land of contrast.
To the north there is snow and locals who speak 'frog'.
To the south there is mainly desert and people who sound like yankees.
The great Toronto desert separates north from south.

[Richard Prowse]

The word for the sweet dish that is often served near the end of a dinner party comes from a Canadian mis-spelling of desert.
Dessert was Canada's gift to the rest of the world.
Canadians invented the sayings,
"That desert looks too big to eat." and
"Would you like snow on that desert?" and
"The strawberries on that dessert are easier to see than a mounted policeman sneaking up on you in the snow."

[Richard Prowse]

Most Canadians can trace their family line back to the eskimo.
The Canadian word for house is house, but when most Canadians are saying the 'house' word they are, in fact, thinking of an igloo.
Igloos are rare in the Canadian deserts, but the few that are there are reffered to as 'melted.'
In Canadian the word 'melted' can have many meanings, but mostly it just means that some ice has turned to water.
Canada is a bit like yankee land, except native indians are replaced by the eskimo.
Eskimos are a bit like native indians who can't dance, hence it doesn't rain much in Canada.
Canadian children often play 'cowboys and eskimos'.
Canada spelt backwards is Adanac. Ada Nac was the wife of the first eskimo to come to Canada. Is that a little spooky?
The first eskimo's name was Ken Nac, so Canada really should have been called Cannek.
Interesting fact: Eskimos don't have armpits.

[Richard Prowse]

* Some Canadians speak French because they don't really 'get' English.
*Frozenadians were popular before Canadians. Now SunDriedadians are catching on.
* Vancouver was discovered by a guy in a van. His surname was Couver.
* Canadians normally don't serve polar bear at dinner parties.
* Some modern airlines fly as far as Canada.
* Canada nearly won the 1968 Super Bowl.
* If you lay the whole population of Canada from north coast to west coast, four people deep, the world would spin with slightly less wobble and fewer Canadians would fall off.

[Richard Prowse]

Why do Northern Canadians always add 'of the North' after their christian names?
Eg. Howard of the North
Reg of the North
Malcolm of the North
Nanook of the North