After a week of schoolexams, I find I have the time to do anything other than learning again
Thanks guys, for taking the time to read it, and comment on it (extensively so).
I shall remove the "ehm", that's just a figure of speech meaning "um".
Quote:
Originally Posted by Matthew Tucker
My main comment as to "wierdness" is the change of style from conversational to more formal and back again. Although the conversational style is sometimes easier to read, i think you'll get better marks for this sort of thing if your style is consistent and appropriate to the purpose.
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I thought that it was okay to change style since it was the introduction and conclusion, but maybe I should save the joking for the preface and keep the rest formal.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Matthew Tucker
If I were you, I'd try not to use "isn't" and "hasn't" and "can't" and "wouldn't"
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I was actually gonna remove those in the second version, but I'd almost forgotten
As for the "one", that's what we learned at school to use instead of "people" and "you", "we" etc. I guess when you read it like that, it does seem a bit out of place, though.
Again, thanks for the help, I'm gonna go change my paper now
