Up There (Near Canada).

[Richard Prowse]

I've been thinking about this for quite a while now. In reality the border between these two countries is just a line drawn on a map. There would be lots of advantages if this merger were to take place. Here are some:

• Former USA citizens could get cheaper snow ploughs because former Canada made heaps of these.
• Former USA citizens could visit places like Toronto and Waterloo without needing to cross a border.
• Former Canadian citizens could establish line dancing clubs.
• The new flag could be like the old Canadian one, which is easier for children to draw, except the leaf bit would have to be simplified.
• Former Canadian citizens would now live in a country with better basketball teams and wouldn't need to watch that silly ice hockey game.
• The new combined country could have a new fancier name like 'Sparkle' or 'Razzle Dazzle' or 'Yes!".
• The capital of the new country could be Waterloo, where it is cooler and politicians wouldn't get so worked up because it would be too cold.
• There would be a bigger coastline for the coastguard to patrol, resulting in more jobs.
• In former USA the North would become part of the South, so old Civil War divisions could finally be put to rest.
• Illegal immigrants from Mexico would have far longer to walk to get to the north of the new country; they would see this as being too far and would be more inclined to stay at home.
• There would be more states to compete with each other on the sporting field.
• Now that cowboy and indian films are not as popular as they used to be, there would be a new genre available: Cowboys and Eskimos.