Research for school

[Paulien van Mourik]

Hey guys,

This year I'm in the last year of (the Dutch equivalent of) high school. Every student has to make an extensive paper on a subject, preferably something they're interested in. Since I love music and double basses, I decided to write about the influence of the double bass on the history of music. I used books such as a history of the double bass by Paul Brun and an introduction to the double bass by Raymond Edgar.

Now that we've had to hand in our first versions, I'd like to show you mine and ask you what you think of it. I'm sure you'll recognize some references as being from one of those books, but in my source list I'll give them all the credit for it There's also some language that you'll probably categorize as 'weird', and I'm sure you'll file some information under 'wrong'.

What I'm kindly requesting you to do is read a little of it (not all 17 pages) and comment on these weirdnesses and wrongnesses. If you don't want to, thats okay Please if you do find the time, comment a little, thanks a lot!

[Ken Smith]

Originally Posted by Paulien van Mourik

Hey guys,

This year I'm in the last year of (the Dutch equivalent of) high school. Every student has to make an extensive paper on a subject, preferably something they're interested in. Since I love music and double basses, I decided to write about the influence of the double bass on the history of music. I used books such as a history of the double bass by Paul Brun and an introduction to the double bass by Raymond Edgar.

Now that we've had to hand in our first versions, I'd like to show you mine and ask you what you think of it. I'm sure you'll recognize some references as being from one of those books, but in my source list I'll give them all the credit for it There's also some language that you'll probably categorize as 'weird', and I'm sure you'll file some information under 'wrong'.

What I'm kindly requesting you to do is read a little of it (not all 17 pages) and comment on these weirdnesses and wrongnesses. If you don't want to, thats okay Please if you do find the time, comment a little, thanks a lot!

A+ for your research. The problem with the DB history is mainly the opinions and interpretations that different authors have written conclusions on. In a book by Planyavsky, he points out where Brun is wrong in his book. Two historians with different interpretations of the same historical data.

I would say that furthur reading would show that the names of both the Cello and the DB have changed over time as well as their sizes and ways of making. Violone and Bass Violin might be the same as a Cello in one conversation and both be double basses in another or.. both might be small DB's or large Cellos that were converted up or down to stay in use. I believe on at least one Beethovan part it says 'Violone - Contrabass' at the top meaning it is a doubled part with two staffs when we go our separate ways of single staff when we play in unison an octave apart. Violone referring to the V.Cello. I believe that the use of the Contrabass/large Violone or whatever you call it, when doubling the Cello part is how it got it's name, 'the Double Bass'. In the book by the Hill Bros. about Strad, all of the Cellos are referred to as 'his Basses', 'the Duport Bass', etc. and not the word Cello. Sometimes Violincello in the book to be correct for the times but often loosely called 'the bass'. So, we play the DOUBLE Bass, 2x the Cello.. lol

Many old Basses have been converted in numbers of strings to 4 or 5 from 3, 5 or 6, depending on what it was and when it was made. In the latter part of the 1500's, bass instruments by d'Salo and Maggini could be anywhere from a Cello to a 4/4 D.Bass and everything inbetween but not strung as a 4-string bass like today. Even some Cellos/Violones/bass violins were strung with 5 gut strings in the early days. On the alterations, many old basses were cut from either cello shaped shoulders, broad shoulder quasi cello or cut all around the bouts into a manageable instrument. I know of 2 basses personally cut all around and have heard of others as well. Still today, makers build basses with high/broad shoulders to mimic some old model that might sound good or be marketed with a famous copy name. I just commissioned a bass, copied from a 300 year old instrument that I own. The shoulders are sloped but the body is long and the Fs are low resulting in a long mensur. The Copy corrects all of this and it works for any style of playing or player. The Ribs may have been deeper from where the endpin hole was drilled but we will never know for sure. If it was reduced to what it is now, the restorer left no signs other then the original hole far from center closer to the top than the back. Still, we copied and modified from the current restored modified shape. We play a non standard sized/shaped instrument. The other instruments like the Violin or Cello vary slightly today with the Viola being made in a few sizes.

No matter how long we live or how much we study it, the data on the old Basses is just not that clear or accurate. So, we rely on interpretation as far as 'what was' in the absence of recorded data. Who lived where or when is something we can trace a bit more easily in many cases but who made what and how is where the clouds thicken!

Beautiful well laid out project. If you have any specific questions, I will be more than willing to answer you. My time is short today so I was only able to eye scan your lengthy well structured article. Bravo on your project.

[Matthew Tucker]

Its a really good paper, well researched and entertaining to read. I learned some good stuff too! I can't find much "wrong" in there.

What is "ehm"? (last page)

My main comment as to "wierdness" is the change of style from conversational to more formal and back again. Although the conversational style is sometimes easier to read, i think you'll get better marks for this sort of thing if your style is consistent and appropriate to the purpose.

If I were you, I'd try not to use "isn't" and "hasn't" and "can't" and "wouldn't" - these are OK in conversation or in email or in a play but not usually in a research paper.

eg: "At first glance, you wouldn’t say the double bass had much to do with the development of the orchestra as we know it. When we take a closer look, however, it isn’t just that someone couldn’t be bothered with these basses and decided to leave them somewhere at the back"

Might be better without the "you" and "we", like:

"At first glance, the double bass may not appear to have had much to do with the development of the orchestra as we know it. A closer look, however, shows that the instrument has had a far greater influence ... "

also watch small sentences like "Or the basses. Easy choice." Not really IMO right for a research paper.

Also the very last paragraph like the introduction is again a very different - and much more casual - style to most of the article. I realise this is your personal conclusion and I think this is how it should be, so its fine to say "I expect", "I suppose" etc, but I would still try to make it a little more formal and definitely NOT use a sentence like "But one can’t say the double bass didn’t have any influence on the history of music, can one?" as the last thing we will remember!! that bit sounds like it's been written by the Queen of England!!!

I hope this is the sort of feedback you were after?

Well done and good luck with your second draft.

[Paulien van Mourik]

After a week of schoolexams, I find I have the time to do anything other than learning again
Thanks guys, for taking the time to read it, and comment on it (extensively so).

I shall remove the "ehm", that's just a figure of speech meaning "um".

Originally Posted by Matthew Tucker

My main comment as to "wierdness" is the change of style from conversational to more formal and back again. Although the conversational style is sometimes easier to read, i think you'll get better marks for this sort of thing if your style is consistent and appropriate to the purpose.

I thought that it was okay to change style since it was the introduction and conclusion, but maybe I should save the joking for the preface and keep the rest formal.

Originally Posted by Matthew Tucker

If I were you, I'd try not to use "isn't" and "hasn't" and "can't" and "wouldn't"

I was actually gonna remove those in the second version, but I'd almost forgotten

As for the "one", that's what we learned at school to use instead of "people" and "you", "we" etc. I guess when you read it like that, it does seem a bit out of place, though.

Again, thanks for the help, I'm gonna go change my paper now